Mother's Guilt

Sometimes I feel like I have an extreme case of mother’s guilt. Regardless of the circumstances, or the children’s lack of responsibility, I lapse into an episode of thinking that somehow I am to blame. It recently dawned on me that Mary had the opportunity to suffer from the same condition.

The second chapter of Luke relates the story of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph going to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. After the celebration, Mary and Joseph headed home, probably accompanied by a large caravan. They thought that Jesus was with them, but in the evening, He could not be found among their relatives and friends. At that point they returned to Jerusalem, and three days later, they finally found Him in the temple. Jesus’ answer to their anxious questioning was simply, “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”

I thought about the times that I’ve forgotten my children. At least when I forgot Geoff at the library, and Elise at school, it didn’t take me a whole day to notice they were gone. Poor Mary! What must have gone through her mind as she searched for her child?

Can you imagine her panic? She lost God! What a dilemma! What was she going to tell everyone? “Yes, the Saviour was born, but I forgot Him in Jerusalem. Now no one knows where He is!”

Can you imagine Mary’s prayers? “Dear God, where’s Your Son? I lost Him!” Or, “Stay right where You are, we’re coming back to get You!”

Then, my thoughts turned toward my own relationship with Jesus. On more occasions that I care to recall, I have found myself in the midst of the noisy crowd, and suddenly realized that I didn’t see Jesus. And it’s usually because I left Him, because I moved on, joined with the crowd and walked away from where He was… where He is… promoting the Kingdom of God. To get back to Him, I need to withdraw from the crowd and return to where He is, doing the will of the Father.
But, unlike Mary, sometimes, many times, I go much longer than a day before I realize that I’ve walked away. I’m alone, despite being surrounded by the masses, and Jesus is still doing the work of the Father.

With all of my heart, I want to be where He is, do what He does, and never walk away from Him.

©2009 Ronny Michel - May be forwarded in its entirety, including the copyright line